Sometimes I just sit and wish.

I don't know what's happened in the past few weeks, but a really good friend of mine has decided to stop talking to me. I don't know what his deal is, but I don't want to force him or push him father away. It just doesn't make sense to me, but I guess I can't change it.

I'd love to change it and be friends again, but he won't respond to any of my calls. I don't know what I did, but for some reason we aren't talking. I don't want this to be our falling out because he is a really great guy, but I guess it just didn't work out for us. I had hoped to be friends, but I guess he has another plan in mind... forgetting everything.

The sad thing, he's gone to Japan for over two years, and while that's a long time, I understand his "reason" of not wanting to communicate with someone that caused chaos for the last 6 months of your time home... The timing wasn't right, and I couldn't drop EVERYTHING.

I can't keep kicking myself for not being the best friend i could have been, because that's the past, but sometimes I just sit and wish I could change everything. I lost a great friend because I wasn't the best friend I could be and now I have to live with his decision to move on. I hope one day we can start talking again, because he really is an amazing guy. Until that day, I'll kick myself and regret the way I treated him. There isn't much i can do or say, since I don't know what he thinks because he won't talk to me anymore. So, I'll just sit and wish.